I Fear

J. Scott Smith

I fear I might not be quite as smart
As others always tell me I am
In fact, I know that at times I'm not
And pray nobody thinks me a sham

I fear my best efforts come undone
When the effort I muster falls short
And what I manage to do is not
An acquittal come my day in court

I fear I have failed life's greatest test
To mold and instruct lives entrusted
But is it fear when you know you've failed?
Perhaps, or that I might get busted

I fear the form caught in my mirror
That takes the place where I used to be
I know me quite well, and that's not him
Some imposter has supplanted me

I fear I'll be alone forever
With never another soul to share
The ups and downs of life's highs and lows
To know the joy and lessen the care

I fear I will grow old and infirmed
Crippled both by time and by disease
While still young in my mind's reflection
A shell not fit to answer its pleas

I fear I will soon be forgotten
When I exit and my show is closed
That my time on the stage was for naught
And my presence not as I supposed

I fear all of these and even more
But one fear leaves me fully undone
And rends my soul with sadness and dread
Should I survive to bury a son

July 2012
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